Literary Wives is an on-line book group that examines the meaning and role of wife in different books. Four times a year, we post and discuss a book with this question in mind:
What does this book say about wives or about the experience of being a wife?
Don’t forget to check out the other members of Literary Wives to see what they have to say about the book!
- Kay at What Me Read
- Lynn at Smoke & Mirrors
- Rebecca at Bookish Beck
Goodreads synopsis: Juliet is failing to juggle motherhood and her anemic dissertation when her husband, Michael, informs her that he wants to leave his job and buy a sailboat. The couple are novice sailors, but Michael persuades Juliet to say yes. With their two kids–Sybil, age seven, and George, age two, Juliet and Michael set off for Panama, where their forty-four-foot sailboat awaits them–a boat that Michael has christened the Juliet.
The initial result is transformative: their marriage is given a gust of energy, and even the children are affected by the beauty and wonderful vertigo of travel. The sea challenges them all–and most of all, Juliet, who suffers from postpartum depression.
Sea Wife is told in gripping dual perspectives: Juliet’s first-person narration, after the journey, as she struggles to come to terms with the dire, life-changing events that unfolded at sea; and Michael’s captain’s log–that provides a riveting, slow-motion account of those same inexorable events.
Warning: Spoilers ahead!
I liked this book: the structure, the tension, the pacing, the day-to-day life at sea. I liked that we know something happens to Michael on their trip but we don’t know what. I thought it was going to be something more sinister than it turned out to be, which–for me–felt even more terrifying.
Michael and Juliet’s marriage is stagnating, and Michael wants to buy a boat and sail for a year with their young children. Even though Juliet has huge misgivings, she gives in. I think her depression causes her to move more passively through life than she might have otherwise.
At first, this new existence perks them up. Michael is especially happy being out on the water, sailing his ship, day in and day out. Juliet seems to enjoy it, too, and it’s often the case that if your partner is on cloud nine, your own mood will also be boosted. At least for a while.
They say they love each other. But they have so many differences, hard things, like Juliet’s childhood trauma. And here’s what I think: You can love each other and not be able to make a marriage work, just as you can make a marriage work even if you don’t love each other.
What does this book say about wives or about the experience of being a wife?
Juliet’s experience as a wife was disappointing. She and Michael automatically defaulted to the traditional gender line split of duties, especially after the kids were born. This wore on Juliet and she felt taken for granted. (I feel, because of her cynical nature, she would always find something to be disgruntled about. But the fact that he handed it to her on a silver platter didn’t help.)
More than that, Juliet believed they had bigger problems, that they “didn’t see the world in the same way” and that they “fundamentally disagreed.” Maybe, at first, these differences didn’t matter to them, but after being together for a long time they were sure to come into play.
Everyone is hard to love if you do it for long enough.
Giving up was very seductive. I wanted to be done with the suspense of marriage. I wanted to be done with the unknowns of the journey. Love had such very long odds. It must have been exhausting for him, to have to believe in the enterprise all by himself.
Juliet found day-to-day life on the boat an improvement over their days at home, because the duties on board ship were less traditional: “our spheres overlapped, ungendering us.” How their marriage would have played out after the boat trip, we’ll never know. However, Juliet is crushed by grief over the loss of Michael. Maybe she was taking his role in her life for granted as well? Michael mentions his love for Juliette more than once in his journal and that he has never considered leaving her. But his actions seemed to indicate that he’d given up on trying to please her. Maybe he felt it was an impossible task.
We can’t seem to love each other in the same way at the same time.
Join us in December for Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell!
Consumed by Ink 
I meant to mention that division of duties, too, but I think I forgot. I also felt so sorry for Juliet during her depression that I had a hard time relating to Michael. That’s interesting what you said about her disgruntled nature. You might be right, although I didn’t see her that way.
It’s interesting how our own experiences can influence how we see a character. I did feel sorry for Juliet, but I could also relate to Michael’s resentment of her on-going depression.
Even though it was a terrible idea, I think she either had to agree to sail with Michael or expect him to go on his own. Kind of a mean trick on Michael’s part.
Well, yes. And it didn’t end that well, but it could have been a lot worse.
We both quoted that last line! It’s a good point about their gender roles being blurred while on the boat. You’d think that would have helped more, but I guess the lack of preparation and their persistent disagreements outweighed the new cooperation.
It’s hard to say, really, since Michael died before any decisions were made. But I do think they were doomed for so many reasons. Stuff that happened long before the trip.
I think too many wives go along with their husbands weird ideas. I see them bored out of their brains in the passenger seats of camper vans while the husband fulfills his dream of driving around the country. Very rarely see a woman in the driver’s seat.
The title reminds me that mum had a book called Sea Wyf and Biscuit, 60 years ago, which was made into the movie Sea Wife. I read it as a boy, but don’t remember it.
That sounds like a good book – I love sea stories!
The passenger seat is the much better one – you can watch the scenery go by and daydream all you want without going off the road. Your only duty is to make sure your husband is still awake. I speak from lots of experience. 🙂
This sounds an interesting examination of a marriage under very unusual circumstances.
Can anyone join in? I have Hamnet in the TBR so your December posts will be a good incentive to finally pick it up 🙂
Yes! Please join in, if you can! 🙂
Yay! I’ll get organised 🙂
Yay! 🙂
Oh goodness, this sounds so depressing to me. But the writing does seem wonderful based on what you and Rebecca have shared.
Yes, I’d say, overall, it’s kind of depressing. But I enjoyed it! Lol
Your point about some people being able to make a marriage work without love, and some people unable to make marriage work while in love is so true! The more you review these roles of wives, I think you are becoming more and more insightful about this. Great review Naomi!
Soon I’ll be able to set up my own marriage counselling practice! LOL
I like the cover of this, with the written words emerging from the tear. That kind of motif always demands a second look from me. (But, no, I don’t read other people’s journals and letters, unless I’m invited to do so! Heheh) And I enjoyed reading your thoughts about the relationships, even without knowing anything about the book.
Here’s me butting in to say I’m midway through reading all of my mother’s journals! But she and I did have an arrangement that I would inherit them.
Ah, see, you were invited: that’s all okay and quite lovely really. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but L.M. Montgomery rewrote parts of her own journal knowing that others would read them someday; in that case, it’s also interesting to ponder what’s been rewritten/omitted.
These are her unexpurgated thoughts! Had her death not been sudden, my sister and I wonder if she would have suppressed anything, or tried to provide some kind of reflections or explanation.
I’d say that’s okay then! I imagine they’re so interesting!
It’s a good thing there aren’t any secret diaries or journals lying around here, because I don’t know if I could resist the temptation as well as you! *looks ashamed*